The family and I are heading to Canton, IL this weekend to visit lifelong friends of ours, The Formhals. Cary and Angie have been friends since our first day of college - he was our married housing RA and she was our resident babysitter for Kayla. “Catfish,” as we called him, is one of those guys I can call no matter what and he’s always there to listen.

They say that you can count the number of lifelong friends on one hand. Take a moment to reflect on those you might place in this category. Did that take long? Probably not.

“Duke University and University of Arizona sociologists found the average number of people who are considered close confidants dropped by nearly one-third, from 2.94 in 1985 to 2.08 in 2004.”

True friends are those that love you unconditionally. That means no matter the circumstance, the situation, the rumors…they are with you. It doesn’t mean they always agree with you (that’s enabling) but they are there to challenge you, pray for you, kick you in the butt…you get the idea. Most importantly? True friends NEVER ABANDON YOU…

25% percent of the population today feel like they have no one to confide in. That can be a very lonely and dark place. I want to challenge you to look for an opportunity TODAY to impact someone’s life by letting them know that you are there. It might be a simple smile, a quick “hello” or a word of encouragement. I’m not asking you to be a “lifelong” friend…but hey, you never know when a simple conversation can change your life (and theirs!) forever.

They say that we will be the same in ten years except for the books we read and the people we meet. For those of you who have reminded me recently that life is still a wonderful adventure, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Here’s to the next decade!

Grace and peace…

I’m a lover not a fighter…

Famous words quoted by many in the past (including our friend, Michael Jackson).  While this quote may sound good (and theologically grounded!), it’s much more difficult to put into action.  What does it mean to love?

Do you love…

…when you’ve been decimated to the depths of your soul?

…when someone intentionally hurts you and your family?

…when the truth gets twisted and nobody seems to care?

…when friends suddenly turn their back on you?

It’s easy to love when things are going well, but when someone is truly tested (the gut-wrenching, head-twisting, heart-writhing, up-to-your-elbows tested in loving others kind)…how many make it?

Maybe the tougher question is this…when is it okay to fight? I’ve been challenged by the words of James (especially chapter 4) and the familiar saying that we shouldn’t judge our neighbors.  How many of us are quick with the tongue? I’m definitely guilty of falling into this category at times. Are there moments when we are justified in speaking out or should humility rule the day?

Anne Jackson talks about her pain in Chapter 11 of her latest book, “Mad Church Disease” and even offers a free download here. Check out what she has to say about healing after the hurt. While her story parallels mine and my family in an eerie way, I was more impressed with how she handled her challenges. Sometimes what we don’t say speaks louder than the words we could say.

So what corner do you find yourself in…are you a lover or a fighter?

Would you say you are quick to make a decision or you like to think about it awhile?  I know, I know.  Most of you are saying to yourself, “Well it depends on the situation.” While that’s true, most of us do have a preference.

For me, I lean towards the quicker decision making process. As an artist and creative thinker, I tend to “go for it,” but not without looking at the process behind the decision. While I do make decisions fairly quickly, I also find out the critical pieces of information and make the best decision possible with the information I have to work with.

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen leaders make is waiting too long to make decisions. This can slow down the growth and forward movement of an organization and more often than not, it will frustrate those working with you. Oh yeah, they may say they’re with you in the process, but they really can’t wait for you to make up your mind so they can get to work.

I love how Seth Godin describes decision making in one of his blog posts (emphasis mine):

First rule of decision making: More time does not create better decisions.

In fact, it usually decreases the quality of the decision.

More information may help. More time without more information just creates anxiety, not insight.

Deciding now frees up your most valuable asset, time, so you can go work on something else.

If your’e waiting around to gather EVERY piece of information so that you can make an informed decision, I’ve got news for you.  You’ll NEVER have all the information. Do us all a favor and strap up and make the call. I’ve never met a perfect leader and chances are you’re going to make some mistakes along the way.  Embrace them. Learn from them.

Probably the most common question asked when you first engage in conversation with someone is, “How are you?” But the second most common question is, “So…what are you doing these days?”

Over the past 10 1/2 months I’ve been blessed with a lot of different opportunities that have really renewed my faith and provided some incredible experiences. Not only have I had the chance to spend more time with my family and to refresh those relationships, but I’ve certainly kept myself busy as well. Here’s a little bit of what I’ve been up to:

• Gigs. One of the best things about freeing up your schedule is the ability to say yes to more gigs. I love to play music and it’s one of the things that really fills my soul. Thankfully, I’ve enjoyed playing more and more these days including big band gigs, combo gigs, worship gigs, R&B gigs, musicals, judging and jazz festivals. And the best part? I’ve enjoyed everyone of them!
• Teaching. Another huge blessing came last fall when MAC asked me to teach as an adjunct music instructor. After the fall they asked me to come back full time for the spring, and then a few months ago I was hired in as a permanent full time instructor of music.  Teaching college is certainly a lot different, but my colleagues are phenomenal and I am truly enjoying every minute!
• Design. I knew that Stephen Emlund and I would always continue our relationship, but little did I know that he and I would partner up to start Creative Improv. Stephen was a student of mine when I taught high school band (one of the best saxophone students I’ve ever had by the way) and he also enjoyed graphic design in his spare time (of which he eventually completed his degree).  After working with Stephen for years on various design projects, he and I decided to take the plunge and become official designers.  Actually, Stephen’s the designer, I’m just the guy that keeps him in line! I knew Stephen was a man of character, but let me tell you UNAPOLOGETICALLY that he is one of the most stand up guys you will ever meet. He is grounded in his values, has strong ethics and morals, and is certainly not afraid to stand up for the truth. I thank him for these traits and value his friendship more than he probably knows.

So that’s what I’ve been “up to” the past ten months…and the best is yet to come (right Matt?). There’s so much more to uncover; not only from the past, but most certainly the path to the future.

Grace and peace.

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