Seven years ago today, our youngest daughter, Emilee Grace appeared in this world for the first time. An awesome miracle for a family who didn’t expect (and didn’t think it possible!) to have another child. Little did we know what an impact she would have on our lives!

Sometimes it feels like God has given our family a second chance to do things over again. He is a God of second chances right? Not that we were horrible parents, but we didn’t necessarily win any parenting awards in the past either. That being said, we have two other UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME kids: Kayla and Seth. They have been the result of many years of trial and error, the shotgun approach (try something and hope you hit it), and “learn from our own mistakes” styles of parenting. Thankfully, they survived.

Fast forward to today. We certainly don’t claim to be perfect parents by any stretch of the imagination, but with God’s help we have tried to do our best to invest in our kids and train them to leave home and conquer their dreams. I think we’re doing a little better these days. At least I hope so.

The time will come when we will look back with laughter, tears, (maybe fright?) and a host of wonderful memories we’ve shared with our kids. I’m afraid that time is coming all too soon. But for now, I want to enjoy the time we all spend together. The hugs. The smiles. The “I love you’s.” And for that special little girl who has blessed our lives more than she can ever imagine, I simply say, “Happy Birthday Ems – WE LOVE YOU!”

Are you building a memory or creating a vacancy?

Over the past few years I’ve really tried to focus on creating opportunities to share time with my kids. I guess I’m trying to make up for all the times I screwed it up in the past. From date nights to family game night, I’ve found it doesn’t take a lot of money to make my kids happy. You know what they want most? Me. As crazy as that sounds, my kids just want a little part of me. Them. Me. Time. Together.

Memories are one of the most powerful stimuli for our brain. While no one knows for sure how many memories our brain can hold, some studies suggest it’s well over 100 million megabytes. That’s a lot of space! One memory can literally last a lifetime…for good or for bad. Are we taking time to build positive memories with our kids? Think of it this way…we all try to suppress bad memories from past events (some of you just thought of something right now). Our memories turn into “vacancies.” Ultimately we’re left with a void in our heart.

Good memories however, build a permanent foundation of positive thoughts. We’re investing into the health of our soul and of others. Most adults have the opportunity to pick and choose our memories. Kids don’t always have the same choice. As parents we hold an incredible amount of influence over our kids. It’s something that none of us should take for granted. Yet we go around treating everyday like everything revolves around us and what we want. The “me” attitude creates vacancies for everyone else. And you know what the sad thing is? Our kids love us anyway. Even when we chip away at their heart.

Take a moment this week to spend time with your kids. It may be as a family, with just the kids, or even a “one-on-one” moment. They may not thank you for it now, but they will. And that moment will make it all worthwhile.

“Since God has so generously let us in on what he is doing, we’re not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job just because we run into occasional hard times. We refuse to wear masks and play games. We don’t maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes. And we don’t twist God’s Word to suit ourselves. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God.”

2 Cor. 4:1-2 (MsgB)

There are times when all of us need to be still and quiet. Sometimes peaceful. Sometimes struggling. Always listening. And there are times when saying nothing actually says the most.

There is also a time to scream. Not a “scream like you’re a girl” scream, but the scream of an anguished soul longing to be heard.  No masks. No games. A time to fight and to stand for the Truth.

And that time is now…

It’s time to make a difference. Not for me. Not for my family. But out of the obedience of what God has called us all to do: love others and make an impact wherever we can. The challenge is in the here and now.

My brain has been full of ideas lately…I think they’re God-sized ideas. I’m trying not to limit them, but doubt sometimes gets in the way. In the next few months I’m going to share some of these ideas here on this blog and I’m going to ask you to join me in the journey. I need your help, your feedback, your suggestions, and yes, even your criticisms. I’ll be launching a new project, writing feverishly and pretty much throwing caution to the wind.

I may have been thrown down a few times, but I can assure you…I am NOT broken. It’s time. Will you join me?

“…You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken.“ 2 Cor. 4:8b-9 (MsgB)

They say that you can count the number of lifelong friends on one hand. Take a moment to reflect on those you might place in this category. Did that take long? Probably not.

“Duke University and University of Arizona sociologists found the average number of people who are considered close confidants dropped by nearly one-third, from 2.94 in 1985 to 2.08 in 2004.”

True friends are those that love you unconditionally. That means no matter the circumstance, the situation, the rumors…they are with you. It doesn’t mean they always agree with you (that’s enabling) but they are there to challenge you, pray for you, kick you in the butt…you get the idea. Most importantly? True friends NEVER ABANDON YOU…

25% percent of the population today feel like they have no one to confide in. That can be a very lonely and dark place. I want to challenge you to look for an opportunity TODAY to impact someone’s life by letting them know that you are there. It might be a simple smile, a quick “hello” or a word of encouragement. I’m not asking you to be a “lifelong” friend…but hey, you never know when a simple conversation can change your life (and theirs!) forever.

They say that we will be the same in ten years except for the books we read and the people we meet. For those of you who have reminded me recently that life is still a wonderful adventure, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Here’s to the next decade!

Grace and peace…

Famous words quoted by many in the past (including our friend, Michael Jackson).  While this quote may sound good (and theologically grounded!), it’s much more difficult to put into action.  What does it mean to love?

Do you love…

…when you’ve been decimated to the depths of your soul?

…when someone intentionally hurts you and your family?

…when the truth gets twisted and nobody seems to care?

…when friends suddenly turn their back on you?

It’s easy to love when things are going well, but when someone is truly tested (the gut-wrenching, head-twisting, heart-writhing, up-to-your-elbows tested in loving others kind)…how many make it?

Maybe the tougher question is this…when is it okay to fight? I’ve been challenged by the words of James (especially chapter 4) and the familiar saying that we shouldn’t judge our neighbors.  How many of us are quick with the tongue? I’m definitely guilty of falling into this category at times. Are there moments when we are justified in speaking out or should humility rule the day?

Anne Jackson talks about her pain in Chapter 11 of her latest book, “Mad Church Disease” and even offers a free download here. Check out what she has to say about healing after the hurt. While her story parallels mine and my family in an eerie way, I was more impressed with how she handled her challenges. Sometimes what we don’t say speaks louder than the words we could say.

So what corner do you find yourself in…are you a lover or a fighter?

For me, I lean towards the quicker decision making process. As an artist and creative thinker, I tend to “go for it,” but not without looking at the process behind the decision. While I do make decisions fairly quickly, I also find out the critical pieces of information and make the best decision possible with the information I have to work with.

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen leaders make is waiting too long to make decisions. This can slow down the growth and forward movement of an organization and more often than not, it will frustrate those working with you. Oh yeah, they may say they’re with you in the process, but they really can’t wait for you to make up your mind so they can get to work.

I love how Seth Godin describes decision making in one of his blog posts (emphasis mine):

First rule of decision making: More time does not create better decisions.

In fact, it usually decreases the quality of the decision.

More information may help. More time without more information just creates anxiety, not insight.

Deciding now frees up your most valuable asset, time, so you can go work on something else.

If your’e waiting around to gather EVERY piece of information so that you can make an informed decision, I’ve got news for you.  You’ll NEVER have all the information. Do us all a favor and strap up and make the call. I’ve never met a perfect leader and chances are you’re going to make some mistakes along the way.  Embrace them. Learn from them.

Over the past 10 1/2 months I’ve been blessed with a lot of different opportunities that have really renewed my faith and provided some incredible experiences. Not only have I had the chance to spend more time with my family and to refresh those relationships, but I’ve certainly kept myself busy as well. Here’s a little bit of what I’ve been up to:

• Gigs. One of the best things about freeing up your schedule is the ability to say yes to more gigs. I love to play music and it’s one of the things that really fills my soul. Thankfully, I’ve enjoyed playing more and more these days including big band gigs, combo gigs, worship gigs, R&B gigs, musicals, judging and jazz festivals. And the best part? I’ve enjoyed everyone of them!
• Teaching. Another huge blessing came last fall when MAC asked me to teach as an adjunct music instructor. After the fall they asked me to come back full time for the spring, and then a few months ago I was hired in as a permanent full time instructor of music.  Teaching college is certainly a lot different, but my colleagues are phenomenal and I am truly enjoying every minute!
• Design. I knew that Stephen Emlund and I would always continue our relationship, but little did I know that he and I would partner up to start Creative Improv. Stephen was a student of mine when I taught high school band (one of the best saxophone students I’ve ever had by the way) and he also enjoyed graphic design in his spare time (of which he eventually completed his degree).  After working with Stephen for years on various design projects, he and I decided to take the plunge and become official designers.  Actually, Stephen’s the designer, I’m just the guy that keeps him in line! I knew Stephen was a man of character, but let me tell you UNAPOLOGETICALLY that he is one of the most stand up guys you will ever meet. He is grounded in his values, has strong ethics and morals, and is certainly not afraid to stand up for the truth. I thank him for these traits and value his friendship more than he probably knows.

So that’s what I’ve been “up to” the past ten months…and the best is yet to come (right Matt?). There’s so much more to uncover; not only from the past, but most certainly the path to the future.

Grace and peace.

Please leave me a comment and let me know what you think of the new design!

I’m tapping on Stephen for my redesign. Oh, and by the way, go check out the new Creative Improv site…leave us a comment here.

Grace and peace…

I’ve heard several good messages this past weekend (and many other weekends), been reading a LOT and have had (of course) much on my mind for the past eight and a half months. For those familiar with my journey I will begin to fill you in on the missing chapters. For those of you new to this adventure, I invite you to sit back, keep your mind and heart open, and be prepared for some challenging thoughts (maybe just challenging to me…who knows?).

I invite your thoughts and comments, and as always, I hope some engaging dialogue is at hand.

Grace and peace…